Jeremiah Salt
SPACE Preacher Jeremiah Salt is the founder of the SPACE Initiative (Special Power Agency Control Expert Initiative). His flock call themselves SPACERS (Special Power Agency Control Expert Reflectorizing Speakers). A self styled confidence guru, SPACE Preacher Jeremiah Salt is most known for writing translated excerpts from the Sacred Texts of the High Church of Messiah-as-Emperox. These SPACE tracts combine stories and citations from the Sacred Texts, with anecdotes supposedly from Salt's own and his followers lives, about how SPACE REPENTANCE™ can help people find success, happiness, and prosperity in their lives. REPENTANCE™ stands for Real Effective Preaching Encapsulating New Tenets Activating Neural Clarity Experiences. It involves letting go of the bad thoughts and habits, and embracing the Special Power Agency Control Expertise that leads the believer to success in all aspects of their lives. He has a very large following, or at least so he claims. Practices PPP Salt is known for employing the use of Proactive Phone preaching. Instead of only having a number that people can call, the SPACE Initiative has a PRISM contract to buy minutes from people's phone subscriptions. During the rented minutes, all calls the person makes, except for calls to emergency services, are rerouted to the SPACE Initiative's number, and the caller is blessed with free listening to Jeremiah Salt's preaching for one whole sermon and/or anecdote. OTSP Another famous SPACER method is OTSP: Organized Toilet Stall Preaching. This is a a practice whereby a free toilet stall is placed in a convenient location. When someone uses the toilet, they must listen to a selection of Jeremiah Salt's preaching while they do their business, and are not allowed to leave the booth before the sermon has finished unless they donate or given their e-mail address to the SPACE Initiative, to which will promptly be mailed the introductory electronic pamphlet version of "Jeremiah Salt's Excerpts from the Sacred Texts™". The booths are also equipped with state-of-the-art facial recognition camera's, and automatically send a purchase request to PRISM for the contact information and browsing habits of its occupants on behalf of the SPACE Initiative. Bedtime Preaching Another highly successful SPACER method is to rent a hotel room or apartment, and then sublet it below market value. However, as a compensation the bedroom is equipped with state-of-the-art preaching equipment, that automatically plays the recorded sermons of Jeremiah Salt when it detects the occupant's intent to go to sleep, or when they are about to wake up. The sermon can be prematurely terminated via a modest donation to the SPACE Initiative. Some versions, better known as Preaching @ Home, include a special lock on the door which demands that the occupant must listen to one whole sermon or anecdotal story each time they wish to open the door (or alternatively donate a small amount to the SPACE Initiative). Podcast Preaching Salt also has a subscription styled podcast called "His Holy Works" which is his main pastoral podium where he preaches and gives his take on the scriptures and doctrines of the High Church of Messiah-as-Emperox and the Church of Humanity, Repentant. This is also his most important platform to sell his "Holy Texts" which are supposedly direct translations of the Sacred Texts used by the High Church of Messiah-as-Emperox, with added commentary by Salt himself. Quotes from the "Holy Texts" by Jeremiah Salt “This is just one of many incidents that illustrates a profound truth, revealed to those who have accepted REPENTANCE™: “Attitude is more important than facts." Any fact facing us, however difficult, and seemingly hopeless, is not so important as our attitude towards that fact. How you think about a fact may defeat you before you ever do anything about it. You may even permit the facts to overwhelm you mentally before you start to actually get to grips with it. On the other hand, a confident and optimistic thought pattern can modify and overcome the fact altogether. I know a man in ACRE. A tremendous asset to his organization, not because of his extraordinary ability, but because he invariably demonstrates the Divine thought pattern. A sort of “Vacuum Cleaner Mind Method” that “Sucks the Dust” out of the minds of his associates and draws out these negative attitudes until they have a new perspective of the facts at hand. His associates and subordinates, even his bosses, often comment on how different facts appear to them after this man has “gone to work on them,” and this is the confidence that makes all the difference. Not the inferiority complex of objectivity or facts, but an attitude that the Divine is actually with you and helping you to see this through to the end. This is why at every waking morning and every waking day and every waking night I simply affirm that “God is with me; God is helping me, God is guiding me through REPENTANCE™” and then all I have to do for the rest of the day is implement that in practice.” -- Buy the “Holy Texts” Jeremiah Salt Limited Edition now and get a free month of His Holy Works subscription! “Experience proves the worth of the Divine. As you embrace REPENTANCE™, you will feel mighty forces aiding you as your increased faith renditions your attitudes. No Aquilan commander planning a daring attack can rely on an officer who takes counsel in his fears. But the Divine text fills your thoughts with faith, confidence, and security. It exercises all thoughts of doubt and lack of confidence. To one man haunted by crippling insecurity I suggested he read through the sacred chapters and underline with a red pencil every statement that gave him courage and confidence. To commit them to memory, and cram his mind full of the healthiest, happiest, most powerful thoughts in the world. These dynamic thoughts brought him REPENTANCE™, and changed him from a cringing hopeless man to a compelling force of nature. From complete defeat to an inspiring personality that radiates courage and magnetism. He regained his confidence in both himself and his own power by a simple process of thought conditioning through the Holy Texts.” -- Buy the “Holy Texts” Jeremiah Salt Limited Edition now and get a free month of His Holy Works subscription! “Let me tell you now about a genuinely happy man and a friend of mine. Director H.C.Matters, who, with his equally happy wife, Mattie, travels throughout the sector in the due course of their work. Mr. Matters carries a unique business card on the reverse of which is stated the REPENTANCE™ philosophy which has brought happiness to him and his wife and hundred other SPACERs out there. The card reads as follows: “The way to happiness: Keep your heart free from hate, your mind from worry. Live simply, expect little, give much. Fill your life with love. Scatter sunshine. Forget self, think of others. Do as you would be done by." Now isn't that amazing? Try this for a week and be amazed with yourself! When you open yourself to REPENTANCE™ and start to practice the SPACE way you will find the newest, freshest, most astonishing method of happy and successful living that you have ever tried. What is the value of having known such principles all your life if you have never made use of them? Such is the tragedy of man to have lived in poverty while all the time right at this very doorstep is the golden opportunity to shed his unintelligent and miserly approach to life. This simple philosophy when practiced for just one week, as the ACRE Director Mr. Matters and his wife suggest on his card reflect the dynamic quality of his mind.“ -- Buy the “Holy Texts” Jeremiah Salt Limited Edition now and get a free month of His Holy Works subscription! "As I ate breakfast in an ACRE fashioned hotel dining room, I was joined by two fellow visitors. The three of us fell into discussing how well we had slept the night before. A truly momentous topic. One man complained about sleepless nights. He had tossed and turned and was about as exhausted as when he retired to his room yesterday. “Guess I'd better stop listening to the news before going to bed,” he observed. “I tuned in last night and sure got `an ear full of trouble.” That is quite a phrase, “an ear full of trouble.” Little wonder he had a disturbed night. “Maybe the coffee I drank before retiring had something to do about it,” he mused. The other man spoke up, “As for me, I had a great night. I got my news from the evening paper, and from an early broadcast. I had a chance to digest it before I went to sleep. Of course,” he continued, “I used my go-to-sleep plan which never fails to work.” I prodded him about his plan, which he explained to me as follows. “When I was a boy, my father, a simple farmer, had the habit of gathering the family in the parlor before bedtime, and he would read to us out of the translated holy texts of Jeremiah Salt. I must admit that I neglected this practice for years and only recently picked it back up again, and I don't know what there is about it, but I have been sleeping better than I have in years, and things seem to be improving all around me. Last Night I read from the sacred texts of Jeremiah Salt out loud, and it did me a lot of good. I did not go to bed with an ear full of trouble. I went to bed with a mind filled to the brink with peace.” Now, isn't this amazing? Without even fully realizing it himself, just by reading the Holy Texts this man had experienced REPENTANCE™. I assure you, the man had no idea that he was talking to me, but through his words I could feel how important and powerful the SPACE way had been to his life. And it can do the same for you!" -- Buy the “Holy Texts” Jeremiah Salt Limited Edition now and get a free month of His Holy Works subscription! Category:CHR Sects or Religious Orders Category:Characters Category:Patreons Category:The Church of Humanity, Repentant Members Category:The Church of Humanity, Repentant Category:Repentant Characters Category:Repentant Sects or Religious Orders